a day which changes my love and my life

again yesterday i peeped into his hp in the middle of the night.. been doing tat becos ive been feeling insecure and he seems to be hiding something in his hp which he keep holding on to where ever he goes.. to my shocking horrors, its not those whatsapp msgs which really shocked me but rather this dubious wechat message which i briefly saw him using it once recently.. so i opened up the app and peeped into the 2 msgs there.. and at that moment i stood frozen, stare blankly at the screen and mind keep asking the same qns "what is this? what is going on here? who is this man that ive been with for almost 5yrs? who am i to him?"

and i did some googling and found that this wechat user is a prositute providing paid sex and whatever kind of service in singapore central area.. i felt sick and disgusted, and my hands turned cold and shaky.. i realize i was scare.. and i quickly looked back at the dates.. was that before or after we had sex.. and i realise this is not the first time.. at that point i felt that the world is crashing and i was lost for words lost for actions.. i dont know who this man is.. so i couldnt hold back anymore i decided to wake tat man up in the middle of the night and I ask him "What is this?" 

the look on his face tells me everything but yet he tried to lie that its just massage service.. dont bother lying!! becos i googled and i know exactly what you have done!

i tried to hold back my tears cos this man dont worth me crying over him or this matter.. thrs nothing that i should be sad of, in fact, it might be good riddance.. i will want to spend the rest of my life with this man as the tot of it disgust me.. i felt my body dirty so i rushed home and bathed thoroughly.. i never want to be with someone like this! after i calmed down i decided to call him and know exactly why.. i regretted not giving a big reaction or a big slap to him earlier on as i was too shocked of the truth to do anything in my normal self.. but of course, dont expect much from this man over the phone the shrinking of responsibility.. the bullshit on i dont know why.. i got no reason but just did such things to me.. FARK OFF SERIOUSLY!! i had enough of you.. if you cheat BE A MAN! dont be a wimp! when we first got together u talked about wad bullshit on loyalty in relationship FARK YOU SERIOUSLY dont expect loyalty if you are the farkin slut slping around with other girls! you dont wan others to touch your toys but yet u can do this to others shame on you! still text me all the long bullshit about trust and what you will never do it again.. WAKE UP UR IDEA! you cant have both things in the world.. get on with UR FARKIN LIFE and i cant even be bothered by whether you feel sick of ursef too! im gg to move away from this nightmare this stupid 5yrs nightmare and have a better life than before without you anything related to it! 

i did not let go of the relationship even when its tough.. but now IM WALKING AWAY! away from all this shit away from you this disgusting fellow and live a life better than before! i hope our paths never crosses and i will never see or meet you again! goodbye forever!