not just physical tired.. mentally shagged also.. does he see the effort tat im putting in or hes just couldnt see it..

i've been working so damn hard the whole day.. slogging my hrs away.. and waiting for him after work.. followed by drinks since it is his farewell party, i don't wanna be spoilsport but it jus all proven tat "it better i dont be there!"

i dont understand what is he angry or upset about.. asked and he doesn't want to say.. the whole night just remained in his own texting mood and very cold to me.. even i felt cold and disappeared for so long, he doesnt seems to care..

then the last and not the worst, keeping quiet throughout the whole reckless car ride and i drove home in my most shagged moments alone.. i have to really hold back my tears when driving home.. wad a bad boyfriend this is, i asked myself.. you must have said, i insisted on driving home myself.. and come to think of it, u didnt offer me to stay any longer, neither did u say anything much.. so you were damn comfortable and okie with me driving home alone so late and tired after all those waiting and stuff..

if thats then wads the reason for texting u when Im home..? since right from the start you were already so comfortable with me driving home alone at this hour.. and of course, not even stay awake to really wait for my sms.. so u did assume that i will be fine, i will be home.. not even a bit of care~

i dont know where have i done wrong.. to turn a supposedly happy night into such a disappointment night.. we are at the point where we dont even feel or put in effort to talk things through.. ignore and walk away are we mostly do now..

I truly see and clearly understand how much i meant to you or either way.. the tears did not rolled out, i controlled it well.. asking myself why should i tear.. always and always again~ I'm so tired.. it seems darker and dimmer.. my heart jus sank and shrink each time..