plenty of tots in my mind and I'm sure which to think through at all.. a train of tots.. running here and thr everywhr in my mind.. vexed~

weekend was alright.. didnt rly rest alot.. cos sat went for the Citi Family day at Silso Beach.. same like last yr.. its was fun when everyone gathered tgt and play at the beach.. though it was farkin sunny and hot, but everyone still enjoyed themselves.. haha =) even i gt myself super tanned!!

no matter how hard i try to think abt it, each time it flashes through my mind, my heart still aches badly.. reason? even myself dun noe.. isit rly tat hard to accept it?? i have accepted worse than this before so why do i feel so painful this time round?? the onli difference is tat I'm not joking but serious tis time round.. lots of factors to consider which causes me headache..

to be honest, the time to marriage.. most of my frens are settling down.. well, I'm nt rly ready to settle down yet but i guess not ltr than age 30.. which means 3 more yrs to go excluding this yr.. i dun rly wanna go into a rs that is less than 2yrs and settle down.. which means i should rly looking for my the other half right now and makes things work.. in simple word, the next bf will be my husband.. but am i in the situation right now?? if a relationship does not has trust, will it work? can trust be build over time over an unstable foundation?? i dun even noe.. forget, forget, forget.. forget..?? forget!!! forcing myself to do it.. but each time, my heart still ache when i recall it..

its gonna be a busy week ahead.. i hope I can get very busy till i nt think abt anything else.. running away for the moment might be the best choice~