recently, i have been super emotional despite my busy schedule.. i am often in deep tots nowdays.. floating back to my past and i realise i havent forgot all abt it.. jus when i tot tat i have move on with my life when for a long while i didnt receive any news abt u, then again once my uncle asked me the same thing again when i was driving.. the qns floated passed my mind reali very slowly.. i am still nt tactful in the ans and i dun dare to look at their eyes when answering them.. i am quite bold in the stuff tat i do and usually i will jus do the stuff tat i deemed hack care abt the rest.. but tat few qns is like asking the worse part of my life and i lose my confidence in my ans.. i'm always lost for words.. then i realise, i havent got over it despite so many years.. 5years?? i havent seen him for 5 years.. i still vivdly rem him but it starts to get blur recently when i am so busy with my own stuff and seldom have time for my tots.. so after being prompted the qns by my uncle, i start to tink abt him again.. but not reali having strong memories and my tears cant help much.. it jus flow uncontrollably.. if i am to meet him head-on in streets one day, would i recognise him?? my mind is lost and my heart is in a whirl, i dun noe wad i wan?? whether prayin hard tat i will met him concidently or dun ever met him again for the rest of my life..?? i envy everyone in this world who nw still have wad i have lost.. and i pray hard tat will remains happy and unchanged till eternity..

i met someone who look like gu ma few weeks ago on the train with yl back frm smu.. she were staring at me every moments observing me.. so i noticed someone keep on glancing at me and makes me felt super uncomfort.. so i turned and looked at her.. i feel that she look alike gu ma but i wasnt sure becos of the many yrs tat i didnt see her nor contact her.. but she definately look alike.. she didnt call out to me, but she would exchange eye contact with me a few mins then she look away.. as if waitng for me to call out to her... then i observe, she alighted at euons.. then i am sure tat person was her.. but i felt the sharp pain in my heart for not recognising someone who was once so close to you, she been with u when u were a child still learning to eat rice from bowl, still tryin hard not to drink milk bottles anymore etc.. but yet, i dun recognise her now.. like strangers.. how sad can i be??

to my this friend, if i noe wad the truth behind, i definately would not gave u those advices tat day.. i reali hate myself.. for blabbing when i do not noe the entire truth and still yaya papaya tink tat myself noes and advices u all those kind of shit.. it not fair to the gal, and it not fair to the thing tat she lost.. she may not be gd in the past but this time she may be true to u.. i dun noe.. wadever it is.. wadever is lost is lost.. it doesnt reali matters wad the truth now.. so wad if she is lying, the thing tat she claim is gone is actuali still thr.. so wad will you so? be back with her?? do u tink tat u can love them even more and be with them forever..?? if you dun love her and getting back jus as a duty is gonna hurts her even more.. i dun noe how u wanna me to advise u anymore.. i am lost for words as well.. but one thing i have learnt is tat i should nv be nosy, i should nv have given u those advices.. and i am regretting so much now.. i feel tat wadever she lost, i have a part in it too.. and it is so bad.. as i didnt mean to cause all those intentionally.. i wish her well and better happiness always.. i'm sry..